Introduction-My introduction was a bit scattered and confusing. The first thing I decided to change was the introduction. There were too many words and it didn’t get to the point. I changed it to a more fluid and short statement that tied in with the importance of the essay. I also had add a hook to make the thesis more clear. At first my thesis was a bit harder to understand and to find but with additional information and an added perspective it became much clearer.

Evidence and Explanations-I had enough evidence in my first draft, my issue was that I wasn’t projecting my own opinion and didn’t develop a voice. In my final draft I made sure after I summarized each of Gee and Cuddy’s concepts, I would respond with how I took on the each authors claims. This strengthen my body paragraphs and helped me elaborate on my thesis and how I thought the importance of it was impactful. 

Reorganization-I did not really have to move around any evidence or statements, it was just a matter of cleaning up texts, making sure everything is cited. I did have to add statements after my quotes to help further explain them, but that was all.

New Paragraphs- I did not add any paragraphs, I just strengthen my paragraphs by adding my own perspective and my own opinion because at first that was what I was lacking in my first draft.